Oktoberfest
by Lucillia
Summary: Who needs a pub when you've got every festival known to man and some that aren't just a short TARDIS ride away?


As the Brigadier and a number of other UNIT soldiers watched, the Doctor and the Master had been facing off in a dramatically tense confrontation. The Doctor raised his arm to make the finishing blow that would end things for now, until the Master returned with some other world ending plot when a noise that was familiar to those who had met the Doctor prior to his exile to Earth rang out across the clearing.

"What do they want now?" the Doctor groaned as a blue police box appeared less than ten feet away.

A brown haired man with a dark and stormy look on his face who was wearing a brown pinstriped suit, sneakers, and a long brown trenchcoat stepped out of the police box and walked up to the Master.

"You, me, Oktoberfest, now." the Time Lord said in a tone that brooked no argument.

"We've already been to all of the Oktoberfests." The Master said before turning back to the Doctor.

_A grey haired man in an impeccable suit stood above a pair of young men clad in lederhosen and t-shirts that said Clan Inebriated on the back who were crawling across the floor of a beer tent in the middle of the last German Oktoberfest._

_"Have you boys learned your lesson?" the man asked, looking down at the men who were little more than boys sternly._

_"What lesson Borusa?" the Dark haired man asked from his spot on the floor._

_"This was fun!" the brown haired one exclaimed, grabbing his lost key before struggling to his feet and staggering over to where he and Koschei had parked their stolen capsule._

"We've only been to all of the ones in Munich." the Time Lord said as he grabbed the Master's arm and dragged him away. "You can come back and play with me some other time."

Ten minutes after the Master and the other Time Lord that the Brigadier was strongly suspecting was yet another version of the Doctor disappeared into the TARDIS that looked very much like the one that belonged to the Doctor and vanished, the TARDIS returned, tipped sideways, and landed with a loud thud.

"There goes the swimming pool again. It's a good thing I waterproofed everything in the library." a voice said as the sound of an almighty splash came from the TARDIS.

Eventually, the doors came open and two figures crawled out, one of which was barely recognizable as the Master, as he'd both been shaved and was now wearing lederhosen.

"Hair of the dog that bit us?" The Master groaned as he emerged fully into the bright sunlight that shone down on the English countryside.

"But we got them all," the other Time Lord who was clinging to the TARDIS for support whined in a pained voice.

"You sure we didn't miss one? There were dozens of them in small towns across America." the Master said as he shaded his eyes with his arm.

"Lemme go check," the other Time Lord said before crawling back into the TARDIS and landing somewhere inside before scrabbling around and doing something.

"Hey, we did miss one. There's one in some place in California called Clayton." the Time Lord inside the TARDIS exclaimed.

The Master finally removed his arm from his face and got a look at his surroundings, taking in the slightly flabbergasted Doctor in velvet and ruffles and the UNIT soldiers who looked like they were torn between amusement and anxiety, looking as if they weren't sure if they should start shooting or start laughing.

"I'll deal with this when I'm not hung over." he groaned before crawling back into the TARDIS.

**Five minutes later (Subjectively) and forty-two years and three months later (Objectively):**

"Two glasses and twenty drink tickets please," the Doctor said as he plunked down the $110 that the Master had lifted from a police officer's wallet at an Oktoberfest in Ohio while an event volunteer put a band around his wrist that identified him as being over 21.

"Bit small, isn't it?" the Master commented as he looked around at the small selection of games and rides and the shortish street that was lined with stalls.

"Well, it's got beer." the Doctor pointed out as he handed him ten drink tickets and a souvenir glass. "And, I think I smell some food off in that direction."


End file.
